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October 31st, 2008

End Scenic Route

Coyotes with habits get trapped and shot.

Sometimes, when you can't be who you used to be, what works is to change everything. Sometimes, the urge to change everything is part of the pattern that needs to be changed.

I've got a whole bunch of habits that need to be changed, and one of them is the habit of letting go, of not having any habits. I'm too good at it. I always have been.

My life doesn't have chapters, like a novel. It's been an anthology. Individual short stories, with a beginning and a middle and an end, and the only way they ever connected was because they happened to lie between the same covers.

You carry a hook knife, and if you ever get tangled you just slash yourself free.

That stops now, I guess. Even if it means facing things I never wanted to have to learn to face.